Two Techniques to Address Harsh People


As Salaamu 'alaykum and peace to all,

Two Techniques to Address Harsh People

My dearest brothers and sisters,

Yesterday, i was reading the Quran and 'bumped' into these two verses which i felt has so much relevance to the current world we live in. They were like techniques to address the harsh people around us.

Technique 1: To address with mild words of gentleness

He, the Al Mighty said,

And the slaves of the Most Beneficent (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness.
( سورة الفرقان , Al-Furqan, 25: 63)

Technique 2: To turn away from them and seek His Mercy

And if you turn away from them to seek mercy from your Lord, which you hope for, speak to them a gentle word (Surah Al-Israa 17 : 28)

Are we the slaves of the Most Beneficent who walked on earth with humility? Have we addressed the harsh people around us with mild words of gentleness?

Think about it.

Copyright © Sis Zabrina 2008

Sis Zabrina
Life Storyteller
Author of Life is an Open Secret
-18 Inspirational Stories from Ordinary life experiences-

Now blogging at

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Sis Zabrina, also known as Zabrina A. Bakar, is a Life Storyteller, motivational and inspirational writer and speaker; and author of Islamic motivational book Life is an Open Secret She maintains an active blog at


Pak_Anjang said…
Maybe we can add one more technique (in counselling, we can call "mediation"):
1) Request another person (mediator), whom the "difficult"/harsh person/people admires/respect, to advise him/her or share with him/her experiences, insights etc so as to enlighten him/her to be more polite, more understanding, & give more respect to others, no matter whom they are. Respect others like we want to be respected. The mediator, of course must be careful not to reveal/give clues of our identity (the one that felt hurt).
I'm having the same problem now, with a colleague who had just reported for duty, transferred from another department, and a wife to someone with a higher authority in another institute. I've tried the two techniques Siszarina mentioned (from The Al-Qur'an). Now trying my third technique...please doa for me, to put to the best(as now I'm her immediate boss, hu3...)

Pak Anjang
Sis Zabrina said…

As Salaamu 'alaykum and peace to all,

Dear Pak Anjang,

Very interesting method, i must say. The challenge is to get the right mediator, you agree? Someone who is respected by the person we intend to advice too. Have you already succeed using this way? Do share with us your updates!

Sis Zabrina